Fear is often my biggest road block. Many a bike rides I've declined lately becasue of my fear of heights and the impossible notion of biking across a bridge. I recently had a panic attack while biking across a bridge and haven't faced the risk of being in that situation again. I want to face it, but slowly, and methodically. I have been thinking a lot lately about how often I think I should be someone that I'm not; should know all of the answers- sending a message to myself that either I don't know who I am or have yet to accept myself. Now that I am living in a new city, recently married, and attending a new school I feel that I no longer know who I am. I have no histroy or connection to the place where I live and feel bombarded by constant stimulation and this is compounded by having no time to process my experiences.
Graduate school is demanding in a way I couldn't have possibly prepared myself for. I have been fatigued by the emotional demnads of the program and have made little time to give back to myself. Slowly I am changing this pattern. One reminder is working on this project with you two. It keeps me focused on the moment, on the importance of expression through movement, on a connectin to something larger than myself. I feel inspired to keep my body well-tuned so that I will have the energy, strenght and flexibility to dance. I started swimming this week and took an African dance class at the YMCA by my house.
Cassidy is going to order a battery charger for his video camera and then I will be able to record some ideas and send them to you two. I am excited to begin moving my ideas.
I was also thinking of how we could integrate these video clips into our final showing. Also, I have been thinking about how our blocks are in our heads, but manifest in our bodies. How could we represent this?
Let's play a word game... what words, images, associations, ideas come up for you when you think of the word block(s)?
Then we can begin to move these images and pass on the pulse of movement inspiration to each other maybe via video clips. What do you think?
**Yulia- Your powerchair story made me smile and feel lighthearted. I am so excited to dance with you in your new chair!
**Kathryn- I am sending love and healing thoughts to your ankle, and your very being. I love the questions you asked- I have thought a lot about how I have changed and how Seattle has changed since I've moved. I recall Seattle with only the purest of positive memories and have let go of any negative ones. The good memories rise to the surface and the heavy ones sink. My view of home has changed in that I need more quiet and comfort than ever before because I live in sich a state of constant chaos. NYC is busy, loud, dirty, overstimulating, exciting, beautiful... so much of everything all at once, so I need more time for myself to relax. I move faster and with more direct intention. Biking on flat roads has made me feel strong and limitless, and willing to take more risks. That is a huge shift from living here - I feel I can take more risks, test the boundaries, and push through more than ever before.
Skyscrapers, loud sirens, carhorns, diversity, taxis, wormholes/subway tunnels, hot dog stands, smell of roasting nuts, blue skies, rats, newspapers, brownstones, kids playing jumprope, basketball courts, shady deals, cash only, bodegas, pizza parlors, boutiques next to thrift stores, high heels, scarves and mittens, lost kittens... so many things.
We make time I think by keeping it simple, being in the moment, and sharing our ideas with each other often.
Love,
Kim
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